Kids pretending to be astronauts, police officers, and firemen

i dont know. i know im a junior and all, but i dont feel old enough. like i dont have too many responsiblilties, but at the same time i have alot of nothing to do. sucks for me i guess? oh yeah that last entry was about my mom. we were fighting. i didnt say it was to her tho cause then i always feel bad, so i just say fuck to no one. idk. anyway. im suposed to go to prom with pat? but i kinda dont want to now. one cause nicks been making me see all these stupid things he does, and two cause idk everyones saying i should date him, but i dont want to. and hteyre like oh def go to prom with  him and like all in my business. idk i dont want to date him tho. i dont even want to go to prom that much. i just want to get dressed up and take pictures and then go to the shore. thats it.

whatevvv. my dads car just died. that sucks. cause he needs it.

fuck yourself.

whatever.

i feel like.. i dont really exist alot of the time. like i sit there and watch people go by and i see my friends and myself walking around doing shit but like.. it doesnt even matter. idk. fuck this shit. when i get a car.. im fucking out of here. like going down the shore and just being places where it matters. i hate feeling incomplete. because i dont know if its because im not even half way through my life yet, or if im just lonely. today brett was talking about significant others. and idk where i stand on that subject. i could just go in circles forever.... and prom. everyones talking about prom. i dont even know if i want to go. i mean its fun to plan it all out but. is being at the dance gonna be fun? no. so whats the point? thats alotof moeny down the drain. and dates.. ughhh. dont get me started. i miss garrett i really want him to get a new phone so we can hang out. sometimes i really think itd be awesome to talk to him about important stuff cause he knows like everuthing about everyone and idk it seems like it would help?.. but i dont know here id start. plus he prolly doesnt care??? no he does just not alot? idk what im talkig about. i guess i just wish i was close to someone again. like so close that they would just know without me having to say too much. idk asdlkfjasd;lfuds;iotu we why am i wasting time typing all of thissss????

ps i saaw ben danahy.. hes like ghetto now? wTF?

( cousins barmitzvah )

FUCK SATS AND COLLEGE.

testing is dumb.

i will never use that kind of math in my life..EVER 

 [the english i don't mind tho.]

( mmk im done with all the quizes.. hurrs whats up )

mmm.. so i had this parade thing.. it sucked alot. i felt bad cause i yelled at megan n for touching my bagel. so lemme warn you now.. if its 1030 in the morning dont touch my bagels - sorry im a bitch? or just a really tired jew. yeah its like 11 and i dont really know what im talking bout..

anyway. i felt like i havent written in a while so i wrote. i guess i really wanted to just recount for myself since i havent been paying much attention to the bullshit going on lately. ive been slowly sinking back to how i was over summer.. fuck. i hate moorestown. well no not really but some aspects of it. ifeelsofrickendumbrightnow.i should prolly go back to see mrs teradlfkjaykdfj i dont remember her name but i really dont want to. its seems like a waste of  my parents money and if i did that id feel bad cause she didnt really help and i bet what im feeling is jsut what your feeling and i just cant deal with it which is gay cause i can. im just being dumb right now i guess.

i really want it to be christmas/hanukah. i want to see my sisters... yeah im gonna stopwasting your time now..pce

( homecoming??? )

FUCK THIS.

FUCK SUMMER.

FUCK SCHOOL.

FUCK FRIENDS.

FUCK YOU.